Mindset

You don’t ever have to go out of your comfort zone…

You don’t have to go outside your comfort zone!! ๐Ÿ˜•

I visited my physiotherapist the other day.

A physiotherapist keeps applying pressure on the muscle in pain and stops when it gets uncomfortable for you.

If they feel it’s just a little too much, they will back off immediately!

They must back off otherwise they’re doing more harm than good!

Then they wait until the pain goes away and they apply a little bit more pressure.

Again, as much as you can take.

Practising this again and again makes the muscle less tense, the blood circulation is increased in the affected area, they can wron deeper and deeper and slowly, the pain goes away.

A psychotherapist operates entirely within your comfort zone throughout the whole process.

The same with yoga.

Your yoga instructor says that if it’s too much of a stretch, relax, stay there, breathe out, then move into the pose a little bit more if you can. Otherwise stay there.

And when you go back next time all of sudden you see that you can stretch more and more!

You can grow by operating totally within your comfort zone.

When I work with people I look to get results while they operate within their comfort zone.

And when we do that we see that their comfort zone expands!

Walking 500 steps or going around the block is progress for someone who only moves from the kitchen to the bathroom.

If you don’t want to do video, you can write articles and still build phenomenal awareness for your business.

If you’re an introvert, you can still build a successful coaching business without going to every meetup event in your area.

I’m not saying don’t try stuff that challenges you, I’m not saying don’t face your fears, I’m not saying don’t do the extra mile.

All I’m saying is if going outside your comfort zone never worked for you, you can still have results by operating within your comfort zone.

And see your comfort zone expand gradually.

All it takes is creativity and full exploration of your comfort zone!

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Should Do VS Love to Do

should-do-vs-love-to-do

I now love hoovering!ย ๐Ÿ’•

Because one day I decided to move hoovering from my “should do” list to my “love to do” list.

If I can’t escape hoovering, how can learn to love hoovering?

Mmm… what if I can listen to my favourite audiobook while doing the hoovering?

YES!

Now, before I turn the hoover on, I’m already wearing my Airpods and listening to another audio!

Hoovering is making me a better coach these days!

Hoovering means self-development to me now!

I can do hoovering for hours!

Is there something you “should do” that you’d love to have in you “love to do”?

What is it? Share it with us and let’s see if we can come up with any ideas all together!

Because my experience shows that procrastination is a result of having should do’s rather than love to do’s!

Procrastination is the soul rebelling – Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Can you get creative and move stuff to the column on the right?

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Here’s the best advice I can give myself and my people

How many times, when you have a problem, you keep bearing down on it and trying to figure it out…

We all do it and yet it is a futile task.

There isn’t anything there to figure out.

Never can be an answer in trying to figure it out.

Because new insight is the answer.

And all we do by trying to figure it out is we keep our head cluttered with all this other stuff that’s not allowing new insight to come up.

Our thinking is holding down wisdom from popping up to the surface.

How different is it trying to figure it out from forgetting it?

Could there be two more diametrically opposed things than trying to figure it out and forgetting it?

And by forgetting it I mean taking it off our minds and going about our business.

Going for a walk. Stop engaging with it for a while.

And when our minds clear on their own, we see something new…

And in some cases, the problem is not there any more.

It was never a real problem…

Much love, Angelos

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My letter to my client who’s studying to become a judge

Elena, my dear, what a beautiful question. I loved your question. I thought about it. I will address this when we start the group coaching calls next month but here’s what I see right now.

I know you’re studying hard to become a judge. Right now the only thing you see in front of you is the exams that you have to pass to become a judge. I know there is no way you can become a judge unless you pass these exams. But can we create a bigger vision than just passing a few exams?

Can we focus on the person you want to be by walking this path towards becoming a judge? You are not studying to pass the exams. No no no! You’re studying so you better serve justice, society, people, tomorrow! Isn’t that more exciting than the exams you have to pass?

Can you spend every minute of your studying as if you’re a judge already? Imagine you are a judge and you’re now reading all these beautiful books, you’re going to classes, you’re probably speaking to other judges, mentors, you learn from others who have gone through the same journey, how beautiful that can be, and, is!!!

Can we shift your perspective here so studying for the exams becomes self-development and professional development? Can you see every minute you spend on exam preparation as a step towards becoming a better judge and a better person? Because if you manage to do that everything else will fall into place including exam success.

You will not just pass the exams. You will shine! The person who will mark your writings or interview you will be inspired by you. They will probably see themselves in you. They will see your light. They will see an exceptional future judge in you! How beautiful, how relaxing, how uplifting all this is! I have a big smile on my face right now. What a vision!

If you follow this approach, every minute spent on “exam prep” will be a minute worth spent. I know that it usually takes more than a year to prepare for these exams… but even if you don’t pass these exams on the first try, trust me, by following this approach you will have gone a lot further than someone who was there just to pass the exams and secure the most high-paying public servant job.

Can you shift your perspective by 180 degrees? How can you love this “exam prep” process irrespective of the outcome? You see I put it in quotes again because this is not exam prep; it’s a journey. It’s 100 times bigger than just exams!

Because at the end of the day, it will be a year or more of your life. How do you want to spend this year of your life?

You mentioned that you now have limited time to spend on reading books, self-development, etc. because you’re studying for the exams. But there’s self-development in this process as I see it. That’s self-development in practice when you change your perspective on this process.

And coming back to the “lack of time for reading books”…, remember this is a journey. A long term journey. A life journey. Tomorrow you will say to me… I have so many cases to go through because you will be a busy judge. But I’ll tell you that you can still make time to read, to create, to get inspired, to do your yoga, to have your quiet time, to go for a walk, to play with your kids. That’s going to make you a better judge. You will see that the most insightful answers will come to you during that time you allocate for recreation. How can someone be the best judge if they don’t allocate time for taking care of their mind, body, creative thinking, no?

I hope this is helpful. I’m so inspired by what you want to create. I’m writing these words and I have so much love for your vision. Angelos.

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How do you achieve Focus or Flow?

stayfocused

Everybody says “you need to be focused, the secret of success is FOCUS!”

Some others call it FLOW. “Peak performance is a result of being in a state of flow!”

OK, understood … but how do you achieve that bloody focus??? Is it always easy for you? It’s not for me!

I decided to do some research and I found a lot of interesting stuff but here I’m just going to share an insightful talk by Friederike Fabritius โ€“ a neuroscientist โ€“ that provides the most satisfactory answer in my opinion. The talk is called Fun, Fear and Focus. I’d recommend that you watch the whole thing! I watched it and I was totally focused! ๐Ÿ™‚

To give you the golden nugget:

If you want to achieve focus, forget focus and do this:

1) Add FUN to your activity, make it more playful, use different methods of working towards a goal, try different strategies, see it as a game!

2) Add FEAR to what you do, make it challenging, make the outcome feel a little uncertain, it needs to feel like it’s taking you slightly out of your comfort zone (not completely out of your comfort zone though!).

If you do (1) and (2), all of a sudden, scientists found that FOCUS comes effortlessly! It’s a byproduct of FUN and FEAR. Because think about it, you can’t be focused on something that’s boring, repetitive, extremely easy for you no matter how focused you’re trying to stay!

PS: In my opinion, the idea of FOCUS goes further than all the above and touches deeper things like mindfulness, meditation and living in the present. Here, I just “focused” on how we can achieve focus at work or some activity that’s important for our success.

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How to Approach Clients for your Business

I just got off the phone with a coaching client of mine who’s launching his own business.

He asked me: โ€œ๐™’๐™๐™–๐™ฉโ€™๐™จ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™—๐™š๐™จ๐™ฉ ๐™ฌ๐™–๐™ฎ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™–๐™ฅ๐™ฅ๐™ง๐™ค๐™–๐™˜๐™ ๐™˜๐™ก๐™ž๐™š๐™ฃ๐™ฉ๐™จ?โ€.

He had been overthinking this question in his head.

Is it better to email them first and call them later? Or maybe visit them? How do you start the conversation? Is cold-calling still effective? Or cold-emailing is better? And whatโ€™s the best answer if the say x? And if they say y, what do you say next?

I asked my client a rhetorical question:

โ€“ Do you genuinely want to help your clients and serve them from your heart?

โ€“ Yes, I do.

โ€“ Then, you know very well how to approach them. You donโ€™t need me to tell you. You just approach them. You say hello and you build a relationship with them. You offer a solution to their problem. You relax. You listen to them carefully and you serve them.

People who overthink the question โ€œHow do I approach clients?โ€ usually do so because theyโ€™re in a war with their potential clients. Itโ€™s all about persuasion theory, selling, closing, and manipulation.

People who are in service mode, ie. in peace mode, approach their clients like a dove with an olive branch (an ancient symbol of peace).

A dove with an olive branch is on a mission to serve. It’s there to make the first step and give first.

Itโ€™s vulnerable, humble.

But also strong and confident because itโ€™s bringing peace.

And if your potential clients are not ready yet to welcome the dove in their hands, they will always remember that you were a dove with an olive branch.

And if they didnโ€™t see straight away that you were a dove,
you can fly back to them (follow-up, or reach out later)
as many times as you want as soon as youโ€™re bringing an olive branch (value, service).

dove with olive branch

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Achieving a goal should be like a bubble rising up to the surface

GOALS – Working towards a goal should feel like a bubble coming up to the surface.

Slowly. Steadily. Effortlessly. Gracefully.

You can’t achieve a goal if your whole identity is invested in a future expectation of yourself. Forcing the bubble to go up faster will only break the bubble and sabotage your entire mission.

When you are unattached, you know in the core of your being that you are sufficient without any changes, additions, or deletions. You allow the object of your desire to come to you without any force, pressure, or control. Unattachment means that it is acceptable for the goal to manifest, and it is equally okay for the bubble to split into hundreds of little bubbles before reaching the surface. Unattachment means that you’re living in the present while working towards your goal.

You can be free, sufficient and fulfilled without the manifestation of the goal. And it’s then when the goal manifests. It’s a paradox, isn’t it? The paradox of wanting something too much and not wanting it simultaneously. And it’s the role of a coach to make sure you’re always at the right spot of wanting it and not wanting it enough.

Do you have a big goal you want to achieve?

Let’s work together and see the bubble reach the surface.

Angelos

water bubbles rising up

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On suffering and … the Power of Deep Listening.

** This is a fascinating story by Elsie Spittle, a great coach and spiritual teacher **

A client of mine was really suffering on behalf of her sister who was suffering on behalf of her son who was going through a contentious divorce. The mother of the son was struggling because of the pain her son was going through and shared this pain with her sister who took on the suffering.

I said to my client that there are many people who are going through the same suffering. Iโ€™ve gone through the same pain with my son and his contentious divorce but that suffering didnโ€™t serve me well. That suffering doesnโ€™t serve humanity well! I generalised to show that weโ€™re all the same and suffering doesnโ€™t serve us well. There is another way to find answers and help things resolve!

So, while my client was sharing her struggles with me, I asked her: โ€œIs your suffering serving you well?โ€

And she paused.

And I listened to the pause.

There was so much in the pause.

In the past, I probably would have overwritten the pause and carried on teaching and sharing my understanding about why suffering doesnโ€™t serve us well.

But for some reason, at that moment, I heard the pause. I saw the value in that pause. I saw that pause was her wisdom. And after the pause, she said: โ€œNo. I donโ€™t get any relief from my suffering…โ€.

And she paused again.

Only then we were able to explore that pause and see what it meant and have a soul-to-soul conversation.

That pause, that soul-to-soul connection softened her beliefs without me saying to her: โ€œLook, you have this belief and that belief, and we need to look at themโ€ฆโ€ It wasnโ€™t that kind of education! It was more the soul-to-soul education based on listening…

Sometimes listening may not even have words!

Words get in the way…

sad woman

PS: I was going to share my interpretation of this story, my takeaways, the way I see it! I don’t have to. I shouldn’t do it. I must not do it. I’ll pause and let you think for yourself. Angelos.

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Head down for one year!

headdownforayear1

What if you worked on your dream every day for one year without lifting your head up to see if it’s working?

But how do I know I’m doing the right thing? Well, you know what the right thing is. You have a tremendously powerful intuition as to what the good and meaningful work is. And just because you don’t lift your head up every day to see a miracle, a miracle happens when you save that energy that otherwise would go wasted on expectation!

Expectation is friction!

Expectation is interruption!

Expectation is frustration!

Think about it. Imagine. Visualise it. One year creating. No looking up.

Every day being a win no matter what! Just you and your meaningful work. No expectation. What can you see? How does it feel?

Kindness and smiles,

Angelos

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Meeeting an amazing guy on Lefkada

There are amazing people around you who are doing extraordinary things and are there ready to become friends with you, share their story and inspire you!

I met a wonderful couple from South Africa in Lefkada! These two literally blew my mind while I was chilling by the sea with Katya. They appeared out of the blue (literally and metaphorically!!!) and shared with me so many beautiful things!

I got two new friends. I’m looking forward to doing stuff with these two stars.

Inspire me guys!

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