On suffering and … the Power of Deep Listening.
** This is a fascinating story by Elsie Spittle, a great coach and spiritual teacher **
A client of mine was really suffering on behalf of her sister who was suffering on behalf of her son who was going through a contentious divorce. The mother of the son was struggling because of the pain her son was going through and shared this pain with her sister who took on the suffering.
I said to my client that there are many people who are going through the same suffering. I’ve gone through the same pain with my son and his contentious divorce but that suffering didn’t serve me well. That suffering doesn’t serve humanity well! I generalised to show that we’re all the same and suffering doesn’t serve us well. There is another way to find answers and help things resolve!
So, while my client was sharing her struggles with me, I asked her: “Is your suffering serving you well?”
And she paused.
And I listened to the pause.
There was so much in the pause.
In the past, I probably would have overwritten the pause and carried on teaching and sharing my understanding about why suffering doesn’t serve us well.
But for some reason, at that moment, I heard the pause. I saw the value in that pause. I saw that pause was her wisdom. And after the pause, she said: “No. I don’t get any relief from my suffering…”.
And she paused again.
Only then we were able to explore that pause and see what it meant and have a soul-to-soul conversation.
That pause, that soul-to-soul connection softened her beliefs without me saying to her: “Look, you have this belief and that belief, and we need to look at them…” It wasn’t that kind of education! It was more the soul-to-soul education based on listening…
Sometimes listening may not even have words!
Words get in the way…
PS: I was going to share my interpretation of this story, my takeaways, the way I see it! I don’t have to. I shouldn’t do it. I must not do it. I’ll pause and let you think for yourself. Angelos.
