Author: angelos

What to say and NOT to say to your client in case of an emergency or mistake

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Clients and communication. What do you say and what you don’t say to your client in case of an emergency, technical problem, mistake, or any unfortunate event that affects their business? This video is relevant to someone who runs a business, a consultant or why not someone who reports to his manager.

I run a business which helps financial planners and life coaches with their marketing, branding, social media, websites, etc.

Once you watch the video you’ll understand why this website is called livediversified.com That’s not only because the content is diversified but because everything is connected in this life and it’s beautiful to find these connections.

What are the connections here? Business, effective communication, emotions, psychology, self-awareness, coaching, and the ability to think from the other person’s perspective and forgetting yourself (the hardest thing in life in my opinion).

Anyway, let me know what you think? Has this ever happened to you?

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Coaching Foundations (Co-Active Coaching Model)

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The below notes come from the book Co-Active Coaching – The Proven Framework for Transformative Conversations at Work and in Life.

Why co-active coaching? Because coach and coachee work together, ie. form an alliance, for the sake of the coachee’s agenda.

When most people hear the words “coaching” or “coach”, they instantly think of a professional coach coaching his client 1-1 trying to solve a particular problem that the client faces, ie. lose weight, get higher up on the career ladder, etc. Coaching is much more than that. It’s deeper.

First, the above book is useful not only to a coach trying to improve his coaching skills but to anyone who wants to have better conversations and connect on a deeper level with others. Better conversations that take place at work among colleagues, at home with your partner and children, or in a coffee shop chatting with a friend.

Second, coaching is not about solving problems, although problems may be solved.  It is not primarily about improving performance, attaining goals, or achieving results, although all of that will certainly happen over time in an effective co-active coaching relationship. Coaching is about discovery, awareness and choice. It is a way of effectively empowering people to find their own answers, encouraging and supporting them on the path as they continue to make important decisions.

These qualities must be present in a coaching conversation: respect, openness, compassion, empathy, and a rigorous commitment to speaking the truth.

There are certain assumptions underlying the conversation as well. We assume strength and capability, not weakness, helplessness, or dependence. This is crucial here. The opportunity for growth is much greater when the coach assumes (and the coachee subsequently) that the coachee is strong and capable, not weak, helpless or dependent.

A co-active coaching conversation has certain beliefs built into it: that every situation has possibilities and that people really do have the power of choice. This is a way of being in relationship and being in conversation that shifts that focal point of the conversation from who has the ran to what is possible. It shifts the conversation from simply analysing and problem solving to working together more effectively and learning to be more resourceful so that future issues are actually easier to address because the relationship is resilient and creative.

This works because it taps into a human need for collaborative, co-active conversation, which is so different from the usual authoritarian, superior/inferior experience based on roles and entrenched positions. In this growing awareness of “We are in this together”, the conversation shifts to a place of common purpose searching for possibilities.

A coach listens not only to the words but also to what is behind the words and even to the spaces between the words. Sometimes there is more information in what is not said that what is said.

A coach listens to the very best in others, even when the others can’t hear it in themselves.

Why people seek out coaching

  1. People want things to be different.
  2. They are looking for change or they have important goals to reach.
  3. They want to be more satisfied at work or in life.
  4. They want to develop skills to help navigate life’s changes.
  5. Sometimes people want more from life (more impact in their work, more security) and sometimes less (less stress, financial pressure).
  6. They want a better quality of life–more fulfilment, better balance–or a different process for accomplishing their desires.

A coach engages in a conversation not as a counsellor or problem solver, but in a co-active way as a companion on an unexpected journey.

People are Naturally Creative, Resourceful, and Whole

When we take a stand for other people’s natural creativity and resourcefulness, we become champions of their behalf, not worried hand holders. As coaches, when we assume that others are resourceful and creative, we become curious and open to possibilities. We enter into a process of discovering with the coachee, not dictating. We expect to be amazed.

 

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Focus on the whole person

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How does the quality of the conversation change when you start with a belief that your coworker, son, or daughter is naturally creative, resourceful, and whole? Capable? It’s possible that conversation might change from giving advice to being curious: asking more questions and inviting the resourcefulness of that person. Think about how your awareness shifts when you see the connection between what might seem like ordinary daily business and how this one issue is interconnected with that person’s life in ways you probably won’t ever know. Those ripples may not be visible in the moment, but they are real.

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What’s the key to making progress?

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A friend asked me the following question on FB the other day. I thought the answer might be useful to others and decided to share it here on LD.

Question: What’s the key to making progress?

I’m not a guru. I don’t have all the answers. I’m just getting better every day, facing my fears, and aligning my course a tiny bit of an angle with my definition of meaning and purpose. Because that’s not easy. It takes courage.

So, my Answer:

I’d say this: there is a path of the least resistance for each one of us. That’s the path where we find meaning. You’ve got to choose that path at all costs and go all the way. You’re gonna face a ton of challenges but what will keep you there is that meaning.

The other thing is to find pleasure in helping others. All around say give, give value, but you have to find pleasure in giving value to others and solving their problems, spending your precious time for solving the problems of others without expecting anything back. That goes against our genes. We’re inherently selfish, we care about our own survival and existence and that’s OK of course to a certain extent. Giving value without expecting anything back takes practice. Lots of practice. And then it becomes addictive. You want it badly. And all of a sudden, just because you’ve provided value genuinely this time people give value back to you. And this is contagious. These people will do the same when interacting with other people.
PS: I’m just learning and getting better. I’ve got a lot of work to do myself. This was just some realisations from my experience especially in the last 5 years since I quit my job in investment banking and went on to set up my business. The way towards mastery takes a whole life. 🙂

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Don’t give up on your true purpose (inspired by Cavafy’s poem The Satrapy)

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The power of this short poem by Constantine Cavafy is just unbelievable. This poem guides me.

The Satrapy – Constantine Cavafy

Too bad that, cut out as you are for grand and noble acts,
this unfair fate of yours never helps you out,
always prevents your success; that cheap habits
get in your way, pettiness, or indifference.

And how terrible the day you give in
(the day you let go and give in)
and take the road for Susa to find King Artaxerxes,
who, propitiously, gives you a place at his court
and offers you satrapies and things like that —
things you don’t want at all, though, in despair,
you accept them just the same.

You’re longing for something else, aching for other things:
praise from the Demos and the Sophists,
that hard-won, that priceless acclaim —
the Agora, the Theatre, the Crowns of Laurel.

You can’t get any of these from Artaxerxes,
you’ll never find any of these in
the satrapy, and without them,
what kind of life will you live?

My comments (talking to myself basically)

Dear Friend,

Don’t waste the gift of life that’s been given to you running after the ephemeral, superficial and flashy things.

You know what your heart is longing for and if you’re chasing other things because it’s easier or everybody else is doing so, that’s too bad.

Too bad for you, too bad for me, too bad for everyone. Because if you’re giving up on your purpose, you lose, I lose, we all lose!

And if you say that your purpose might take years or forever, let me tell you this. Life is much longer than you think and you will live to see your hard word give fruits, plenty of fruits, fruits which you will taste, I will taste, we will all taste.

Guys, please read this beautiful short poem, the Satrapy, by Constantine Cavafy, one of the most important figures of the Greek and Western poetry.

This poem is talking exactly about that, about being honest to one’s value, purpose and those hard-won noble things that your heart is longing for.

 

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Your suffering is trying to teach you something

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Listen to your suffering for it’s trying to teach you something.

You’re probably suffering because there is no meaning and purpose in the way you’ve chosen.

Viktor Frankl spent three years in Auschwitz and other concentration camps during WWII. In his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, he writes:

Even though conditions such as lack of sleep, insufficient food and various mental stresses may suggest that the inmates were bound to react in certain ways, in the final analysis, it becomes clear that the sort of person the prisoner became was the result of an inner-decision and not the result of camp influences alone. Fundamentally then, any man can, under such circumstances, decide what shall become of him – mentally and spiritually.

If there is a meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering. Suffering is an eradicable part of life, even as fate and death. Without suffering and death, human life cannot be complete.

The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity – even under the most difficult circumstances – to add a deeper meaning to his life.

There is also purpose in life which is almost barren of both creation and enjoyment and which
admits of but one possibility of high moral behavior: namely, in man’s attitude to his existence, an
existence restricted by external forces.

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Happiness cannot be pursued – Best advice ever.

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Tonny Robins recommends this book. Viktor Frankl – Man’s Search for meaning. I’m only thirteen pages into it but I had to stop to share this with you.

“Don’t aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long-run—in the long-run, I say!—success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it”

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Four Great Books about Marketing

These are my favourite books about marketing: 
 
1. Seth Godin – This is Marketing. OMG, I love this guy. He is the marketing guru. Please, don’t miss his latest interview on Tim Ferriss podcast. That’s gonna blow your mind. Trust me.
 
2. Contagious – Jonah Berger. The best book which shows you what stuff is shared online and why. If you want to get into the psychology of viral marketing get this one NOW!
 
3. Expert Secrets – Russell Brunson. This is the ONE book for those who have something to share with others but don’t know how to build their tribe. You can apply the infinite wisdom of this book to help your clients achieve their goals and build their brand.
 
4. Everything is Marketing – Fred Joyal. This is a book about dental marketing. However, the lessons in this book are applicable to the marketing of any product or service.
 
5. Last but not least (well that should be # 1 in the list actually). Study the 25 cognitive biases by Charlie Munger. You need to understand how people think and how they’re hard wired. The biases are the bible of marketing and selling. Without understanding the biases and how they apply to marketing, you simply can’t sell anything. If you want all my notes on how to apply the cognitive bias theory to marketing, send me an email and I’ll share them with you.
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Expert Secrets – Russell Brunson

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Expert Secrets by Russell Brunson. This is the ONE book for those who have something to share with others but don’t know how to build their tribe.

My motto is “Those who compromise their dreams just to feel financially safe, commit a crime against themselves and humanity.”

This is what this book is all about.

Have you got something to share which can transform the lives of a few people? Then, you’ve got to do it because these people need you and you need them. It’s about your calling, your purpose and what you’re here in this world for.

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Don’t give up – Habit Payoff is Non-Linear!

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Lots of meat in these four paragraphs.

Excuse my exaggeration but these are the wisest words a human being has ever said in this world when it comes to habits:

“We often expect progress to be linear. At the very least, we hope it will come quickly. In reality, the results of our efforts are often delayed. It is not until months or years later that we realize the true value of the previous work we have done. This can result in a ‘valley of disappointment’ where people feel discouraged after putting in weeks or months of hard work without experiencing any results. However, this work was not wasted. It was simply being stored. It is not until much later that the full value of previous efforts is revealed.”

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