How to Stop Thinking about Work

These are some notes I sent to a client on how to stop thinking about work when you’re at home with your family, friends, etc.

1) The statement “Don’t think about work” or “Don’t check your phone” needs to be converted to a “Do this specific thing instead”. Our habit system learns a new action only when you perform an action, not when you don’t. So, focus on something very specific that you’ll do instead. Spend time with the kids is not a good one for example. Turn that to “I will read to them the book I bought yesterday, then we’ll do yoga together for 30min, we’ll do breathing together for 10min, etc.” The best thing is that activities like these get installed in their brains forever! You do your yoga, you help yourself relax (you need it anyway) and at the same time, you put the seeds of good habits in your kids’ brain early on in their lives. Remember, kids, learn only by example. They are like monkeys! And when kids go to bed, what are you going to do? Again, be very specific, read a book, create a nice atmosphere with essential oils and meditate again, etc.

2) If there are still work thoughts that keep bugging you, keep a notebook handy. Set a timer for 10min and write down everything that’s bothering you. It’s very helpful to get things that bother you outside of you. That works perfectly with thoughts that reflect anxieties rather than specific tasks that you haven’t finished yet. 😉

3) Work-free environment. Don’t just put your phone to silent mode but switch it off, put it in the closet and lock the closet in a room far away from you. You can ask your daughter to hide it and give it back to you after two hours! We once tried this with someone, his daughter fell asleep and we couldn’t find the phone until next morning, in which case, it worked even better for us! 🙂 haha

4) Another lesson from cognitive therapy. The more you stay away from work or phone and realise that this doesn’t actually hurt you (you can do it and feels good), the easier it gets to stick to the habit. The more you expose yourself to a scary situation, the less threatening the situation looks. So try to do 2 hours with your phone, then a phone-free evening, then a phone-free Sunday, etc.